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I left my abusive ex in November last year after 3 years of very mental and sometimes physical abuse the mental stuff has been the most difficult to deal with but I'm in a better place now. He has begun a relationship with a very nice woman he used to work with, 10 years younger my agelives with her parents and no children. She is perfect for him as her life will easily able to revolve around his, the way he likes it.
Her not having children may be an issue because he definitely will not want more but that's not my problem lol, my problem is why do I want him to do the same to her? The constant criticism, the manipulative behaviour, the shouting, calling me horrible names and making me feel so inadequate and worthless-I shouldn't want anyone to go through what I went through, especially the level of violence that finally ended things. I know he cannot change; I was warned he was a bully by his ex wife's friends, and I think he was worse with me than her.
I haven't moved on, I still have confidence issues and haven't met anyone or even tried. So go sporty dating site feels like people will say 'oh look at him, he's so happy now, he's got a lovely woman, she me must've either been lying or has issues'. It wasn't like that at all, he was a horrible man to me for no reason other than he's an abusive bully.
But I want to be proved right, it's like I'm still being punished knowing he's moved on to his next victim. How do other people cope with this? I know they don't change, what's other people's experiences of watching their abusive exes move on? For me the fact I am safe and free to make my own choices overrides any emotional feelings towards my ex, I left him thinking I still loved him but I don't think I truly did-he was so abusive-I was just very much under his control and eventually phoned the police while cutting every single tie.
The police arrested him and put him on police bail for 5 weeks while waiting for phone footage of his last assualt to be analysed they couldn't charge him cos he deleted the evidence after emailing me to tell me he was watching films of that night. Anyway- how abusive ex dating again people cope with knowing he's with someone else who is a good person? Will this girl be subject to the same behaviour to change her appearance?
I feel so bad for her, she really is a nice girl who won't ever cope with his level of abuse. Jul 10, Thanks for sharing your story. It is not easy to cope with the fact that the ex has a new partner. Because what seems to happen is the ABUSER makes a large effort in making sure everyone knows how "happy" he and his new partner are.
I abusive ex dating again married for 20 years. I left and ended up in another abusive relationship. That guy kicked me out of his house after a year long relationship. During our relationship he claimed to love me, wanted to marry abusive ex dating again, yada yada. He is now married to the woman he started dating after me. I spoke to her before she married him and tried to warn her about his abusive ways. She told me once they had broken up. She will try her hardest to be better than you, perhaps you did the same.
I know I tried to be better than my ex-boyfriends. He painted her to be a terrible abusive ex dating again, terrible mother, and it was a tactic to try and get me to be his "ally". He wanted me to side with him. Well, she and I are now friends. He cheated on her with me and I called and apologized to her. Devils dating angels is a great lady and she helped me to get over the JERK. So my reason for telling you all this. Helping to see what your ex is doing.
To cope with the hurt that this creates. Because we do start to believe. Maybe it was me, maybe i caused him to be abusive? Your ex wants you to think he is "HAPPY" and with someone who is way better than you. He wants you to think that YOU were the problem in your relationship. Because if he was the problem. Because he is manipulating it to look like everything is ok. Lundy Bancroft has a book called "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men".
It abusive ex dating again a great resource when understanding abusers. Pick up a copy, it has a chapter referring to the new partner as an "ALLY". What abusive ex dating again ex is doing is creating the same dynamic that he created with you. His new partner is falling for it because she is already hooked on him.
The abuse has begun and she is caught up in it. She will be miserable. I would bet there are women before you that he has hurt and there will be women after you and after his current partner. Just because he and the new partner are together and may stay together for a long while I WOULD BET my last dollar that abusive ex dating again is miserable. Abusers can only "look happy" for so long. Their true colors come out. Even though you may be hurting I reached out to my ex's new partner just before they got married.
She treated me horribly. It is very hard for me to turn the other cheek so to speak. Part of me hopes she regrets how she treated me. I saw a saying recently Hugs to you Other. Thanks Karen, your words mean a lot: You're so right about trying to be better than the ex wife - except my ex never criticised her to me even though she left him for someone else. He carries pictures of her until I found them, he told me I was uncomparable to her, and that it would take him 26 years for him to love me as much as he loves her.
Letter to the Girlfriend of my Abusive Ex
Understand that it can happen. You did not cause the abuse; your abuser is the one who caused it. It looks like you already have a Community Account Click here to re-send your activation code. Healing is a process and through it, you will remember how strong, capable and extraordinary you really are. Your behavior is what you should look at so that This doesn't happen again for you and the next guy Gets a strong woman with goals and a backbone To be a partner and not his nanny or bed partner.