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Why do people disappear in the middle of otherwise promising conversations on online dating sites? March 4, 6: I am a guy in his 30s in NY. I often email women on OKCupid and start a conversation that seems like it's going well -- we are sending interesting, funny and flirtatious emails back and forth, we have definite things and common and stuff to talk about, they may have added me to their favorites -- and then online dating suddenly stop responding disappear and stop responding.
I'd say this happens around half the time, sometimes at the point when I suggest online dating suddenly stop responding in real life for drinks or coffee usually after 3 or 4 emailsother times nothing in particular precipitates it. There's nothing unusual or awkward about the emails, and its not a situation where I reveal my name and anything bad would show wuddenly if they Google it. What's going on when someone does this? Is there another strategy here Responing missing to convert meeting someone online to meeting someone in person?
Are we supposed sudxenly engage in some kind of srop relationship", emailing for weeks and months first? Do they responcing want online pen pals or something? Am I wrong in asking to meet suddenyl too online dating suddenly stop responding Online dating is a numbers game; many people flake out along the way. The best way to circumvent this is to arrange a phone call or online dating suddenly stop responding meeting as soon as possible.
If the person isn't receptive just move on. Sometimes I flake out because it just doesn't feel right. Sometimes I flake out because I am too busy to respond -- and it's annoying to do it all in OKC anyhow -- and by the time I am a little freer, I feel like it's been too long. This probably idiotic, but there you have it. It happens to me, too, of course, that people just disappear.
It feels unpleasant, but so it goes. I am going to give you the full benefit of the doubt and believe you when you say there's nothing awkward or unusual about the emails. There is just something tricky about that moment where a person is trying to decide, "Okay, do I REALLY want to go meet this person in real life? You can stop responding at virtually any time. Because these conversations aren't REAL conversations though they may feel that way to you.
They just a sort of bee-dance to inspire the other person to imagine what you might be like in real life. They'll either become curious enough to find out, or they won't. Sometimes it's because they decide they really aren't attracted to online dating suddenly stop responding. Other times, someone else swoops in and does a more elaborate bee dance, and so their attention is distracted away from you. Don't take it personally -- I mean, it is personal, but that's how attraction works.
When we first encounter someone's picture and description online, we project a lot onto them and fill in the blanks with fantasy. As we get to online dating suddenly stop responding them a little better, we may begin to suspect that they're not who we're looking for at all. Sometimes they just aren't feeling it. Although, if it's any consolation, it's rssponding to us women all the time too, so it's definitely not just you. It's emotionally easier to cut off communication suddenly than skddenly go through the effort of "winding down" the conversation, apologize for taking your responidng, explaining what went wrong, online dating suddenly stop responding opening yourself up to remarks and criticism.
Mostly the first one though. Respondiing I would rather just stop receiving emails from someone than get one saying "Can we stop emailing now, I realised I don't like you very much". It happens all the time. It happens to women, too, although maybe not as much. I think sating addition to what jeather said some women go onto dating sites for a boost of self-esteem When you want to meet, they drop it because they just wanted to online visceral thrill, or onljne were just testing the waters, or they just aren't emotionally ready to follow through.
I don't think there's much you can do to screen them out. I would definitely recommend that online dating suddenly stop responding that pursue the IRL meeting at 3 or 4 emails, so you can cut your time datinf to a minimum for those who end up flaking out. For some people, it's easier to just cut communication than to write a definite, explicit letter stating, "you seem alright, but I don't really feel like talking to you anymore.
The relative anonymity of online dating makes this sort of cord-cutting very easy. Don't take it personally. This is SOP on OkCupid. They either started dating someone else, or they liked you enough to keep emailing with you, but not quite enough to commit to onlkne you in person. Hell, I've had women flake out on me after they were the ones who suggested meeting. But you're not doing anything wrong; this is just how online dating works. Maybe online dating suddenly stop responding are just flaky, maybe they are currently sort-of dating someone else they met online, maybe respnoding are just busy, etc.
I didn't do it very often, but if I waited a old earth dating methods and sent a short "Hey, haven't heard from you in a while so you might not be interested, but just wanted to say I still would like to go out for [date] with you. Respobding, most people who actually want to go out on dates don't need to keep it online for so long. Unless you also want a pen pal then it doesn't datlng matter. No, that's the best way to do online dating in my opinion, the first real life meetup is very important for figuring out onlune you are actually compatible so it needs to be not long after the initial contact in my opinion.
I'd say this happens around half the time
How to Lose a Guy Online
But a full dating schedule definitely lessens the sting. Something along these lines would work fine:. The problem is we can never know what's happening in someone else's mind. Are they close enough to date regularly without filling up the tank every date When was your last relationship and how long did it last? If it's the former, they're not interested. The angry email is ineffective because it creates an awkward situation. That "extremely attractive girl" that you messaged has to wade through a lot of messages from guys on the website.